A TikTok video recently trended on Twitter, portraying a person who doesn’t trust his partner. The gist of the monologue in the video is as follows: “You already said good night and that you are going to sleep...But why are you still online in Viber and Telegram? And you even commented on a new Facebook post...”
The ensuing Twitter debate centered on two arguments: one against the invasion of personal space and another one against lying. The personal space argument says that people need to learn to respect personal space, even in romantic relationships and understand that your partner is not obliged to report to you 24/7. The lying argument chides people to just say what they mean and mean what they say.
The root of the issue really is trust. Lack of trust leads us to thinking that we will be taken advantage of if we are not on the lookout all the time. It prevents us from fully expressing what we mean out of fear of being misunderstood. Left unaddressed, this may lead to trust issues that can be detrimental to our relationships and personalities.
Trust needs to communicated openly and agreed upon freely. The French word for trust is confiance, a very close cognate of “confidence”. Confidence connotes the ability to say what we truly feel to someone, as in to confide in someone and be someone’s confidante. So before things get blown out of proportion, have an open and honest conversation about how you feel about certain words, actions, or situations. This applies to any relationship that requires trust.
Trust requires both parties to acknowledge their roles and responsibilities and be accountable for their own actions. It also requires faith that the other will do their share and acceptance of things that are outside our control. This attachment with control is one of the reasons why there is mistrust. To a certain degree, we have to surrender and let go.
Yoga teaches us trust in many ways: in trusting the process, trusting our teachers, trusting our bodies, our minds, and our breath. If you need a practical way of exercising trust, you need not go further than your yoga mat.
- Teacher Ben
Trusting the Process
I’m the type of person who likes knowing the exact outcome of anything I do. I love when things can be measured, are precise, and are predictable. It’s evident in the way I teach and that is a source of comfort in my life.
The Eight Limbs of Yoga are meant to be a guide on to how to live a life free from attachment to what doesn’t matter in the end. I’ve been thinking of Isvara Pranidhana much more in this pandemic lately — it is the surrender of your ego to your higher power. I have never been a religious person, but I truly believe that there is more to this world than me and us. I feel it.
COVID-19 sent all our future plans spiraling out of control. I went through a lot of anxiety over the loss that it brought and how unstable I was feeling. I had many moments of doubt because I didn’t know if the hard work would pay off. It was so easy to hold myself back because not knowing felt crippling so many times.
I had to muster up the courage to keep moving and find ways to take care of myself as a Yoga teacher. Trust in the process and surrendering the effort was one of the biggest things I’ve learned because of all this. Yes, “the universe has got your back” but we need to do our part too. I worked hard to gain skills, create good content for classes, and build connections to my students.
Work hard, study, have good intentions, and then LET IT GO. When we focus on the process instead of what we’re getting out of something, the Universe supports what we direct our energy towards. When we surrender the attachment to the outcome, we surrender what holds us back from reaching our fullest potential. Having faith and trusting myself has made me more confident in what the future has in store.
- Teacher Rianna
Teacher Ben and Teacher Rianna are experienced yoga teachers, who dedicate their lives to guiding fellow practitioners reach their full potential.