I have been living with my boyfriend for a couple of years now. And in this pandemic, we made the decision to purchase a condo together. Unlike a lot of things I hear about diving into this level of (legal!) commitment, I didn’t hesitate. I didn’t think twice or doubt my decision. It was easy. Despite my confidence, people around me worried about how stable that was since we weren’t married. That something in me should be feeling scared. It made me think a lot about my views on marriage, and what that means when it comes to love.
Commitment according to Merriam-Webster is “an agreement or pledge to do something in the future”. I’m 35 years old and I have always been taught that the ultimate proof of commitment was a ring and marriage. And while I have no problems with it, I don’t believe that love and commitment is limited just that. I’ve grown to learn that commitment is an action. Beyond an agreement or pledge and yes, even paperwork or religious obligation, it is the choice to choose who you love on a daily basis. Marriage is a symbol, not the definition or assurance of it. I believe that we all have the freedom to express love our way.
Our practice gives us the tools to become aware of how we work. The choices we make, why we do what we do, and our intentions come from a place we need to understand. Yoga has given me the space to plant two feet in who I am at this point in my life. Coming from a broken family, I’m aware that my aversion towards marriage comes from this. But I also believe that trust and faith in your person can be bigger than what hold you back from being all in when it comes to love. People joke me about being commitment-phobic but I really disagree. The beauty about love is that it is what you and your person define it to be. And maybe for us, this condo is the symbol.