A TikTok video recently trended on Twitter, portraying a person who doesn’t trust his partner. The gist of the monologue in the video is as follows: “You already said good night and that you are going to sleep...But why are you still online in Viber and Telegram? And you even commented on a new Facebook post...”
The ensuing Twitter debate centered on two arguments: one against the invasion of personal space and another one against lying. The personal space argument says that people need to learn to respect personal space, even in romantic relationships and understand that your partner is not obliged to report to you 24/7. The lying argument chides people to just say what they mean and mean what they say.
The root of the issue really is trust. Lack of trust leads us to thinking that we will be taken advantage of if we are not on the lookout all the time. It prevents us from fully expressing what we mean out of fear of being misunderstood. Left unaddressed, this may lead to trust issues that can be detrimental to our relationships and personalities.
Trust needs to communicated openly and agreed upon freely. The French word for trust is confiance, a very close cognate of “confidence”. Confidence connotes the ability to say what we truly feel to someone, as in to confide in someone and be someone’s confidante. So before things get blown out of proportion, have an open and honest conversation about how you feel about certain words, actions, or situations. This applies to any relationship that requires trust.
Trust requires both parties to acknowledge their roles and responsibilities and be accountable for their own actions. It also requires faith that the other will do their share and acceptance of things that are outside our control. This attachment with control is one of the reasons why there is mistrust. To a certain degree, we have to surrender and let go.
Yoga teaches us trust in many ways: in trusting the process, trusting our teachers, trusting our bodies, our minds, and our breath. If you need a practical way of exercising trust, you need not go further than your yoga mat.
- Teacher Ben